Look: It (fucken) doesn’t exist
“God knows I tried my best to learn the ways of this world, even had inklings we could be glorious; but after all that’s happened, the inkles ain’t easy anymore. I mean – what kind of fucken life is this”? – from the 2003 Booker Prize-winning novel ‘Vernon God Little’ by DBC Pierre
Intellectually, I like the word ‘fuck’. After ‘set’, it’s the single most versatile word in the English language, and we use it for all manner of things. What the fuck? Don’t fuck with him. He’s a stupid fuck. Fine. It’s a good batch of letters, and it is among the most roundly embraced words in conversational speech (though you may have problems with it before 8.30pm in the electronic media).
But what’s with the word ‘fucken’ all of a sudden? It seems to have popped into the lexicon for no reason. Sure, that’s how it’s said, but I’d always assumed it was fuckin’, as in – an abbreviation of “fucking”.
I’d always just assumed that the spelling variation was wrong. A mistake. People often spell things the way they hear them, and people say ‘fucken’ rather than ‘fucking’. Simple error that can be corrected with liberal use of a liberal dictionary.
But people use it a lot and I mean, I guess it’s an adjective – or no… it must be a modifier of adjectives and adverbs (How big is it? It’s fucken big). I’ve seen it written that way online and in hand-written notes, but not by published authors…
…until this week. Picked up that Pierre book today and saw the word (a lot). And a few days ago, I received the new Spiderbait album.
Australian band. Sing really fast Bangles-ish pop songs through a fuzzbox. Just did a cover of Ram Jam’s ‘Black Betty’. Like them a lot.
Anyway, the point is that track 5 on the CD is called ‘Fucken Awesome’. The lyrics are printed on the CD booklet insert sleeve thing. The song goes like this:
You’re fucken awesome
You’re fucken awesome
You’re fucken awesome
You’re fucken awesome
Anyway, that’s verse one.
So it seems to have fallen into common usage, spelling-wise. Time to update the dictionary. It’s a living language after all.
And I have to say, I’ve always secretly admired people that can swear convincingly. I can’t pull it off. I feel ridiculous saying perfectly legitimate words that other people use in conversation every day.
‘Oh, for fuck’s sake’, with practice, almost sounds like I mean it, but I’m entirely unable to pepper my conversation with casual swearing. I have to work up to it. I’m doomed to live my life as someone for whom ‘gosh’ comes naturally.
But in text, I can manage it, though I usually refrain. For most of what I write, swearing is just kind of inappropriate. But when I get the opportunity, ‘fucken’ it is – despite the fact the dictionaries are yet to catch up with popular culture.
However, the Spiderbait album is called ‘Tonight Alright’.
That one I won’t stand for. “All right” is two words. Got it? Two words. There is no such word as ‘Alright’. All right?
Stupid fucken rock musicians.
