Bloody hell. You take off for a couple of days, and when you get back – well, more of the same, actually…
Is it just me, or is Holmes telling us he was stupid both a) redundant and b) just another way to get us to tune to his show?
He: “Oh I am a foolish bad man. Witness my contrition.”
Us: “Arise from the ground. You are forgiven. Anyway, we’re bored with all that now. Now shut up and go back to the extreme close-ups and emotional manipulation of parents whose children have died. We quite like that. Also, your chats about wet and forget. The butcher, we also like. Get him on the phone.”
He: “Are you sure? I could resign.”
Us: “No – we will still listen. Your show is familiar and comfortable to us. We may loathe racism, but we fear change.”
He: “ZB bosses: I resign!” (wink, wink)
Them: “As arranged at last week’s meeting, we decline your resignation, and make a show of being both responsible and fairminded employers. Your bosses and your public have spoken.”
He: “Phew – I was worried you might let me go through with that for a moment.”
Us: “For God’s sake – stop apologising. Or at least, stop doing it so goddamn publicly. If you’re going to write a letter to Annan, then write the man a letter. Don’t announce it in every bloody medium available to you before you even write ‘Dear Sir’.”
He: “You’re right. I have turned this into even more of a media circus by incessantly apologising in a half-hearted manner, rather than doing anything remotely constructive. I shall offer my sincerest apologies for this oversight, as well as my head on a platter – and get more column inches, TV coverage and talkback debate in the process. You guys are full of good ideas…”
Running out of ways to apologise, Holmes “resigns”
Newstalk ZB bosses have rejected the resignation of broadcaster Paul Holmes, but say he is to apologise to the UN Secretary General after racist comments he made on his breakfast radio show.
Holmes has apologised both on radio and on his television programme for referring to Kofi Annan as a ‘cheeky darkie’ on Newstalk ZB last week.
