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If you haven’t heard the news yet (reported in awed tones here by the BBC) you’ll soon be able to download music completely legally, absolutely free.

Well, I guess you can toll the bells for online copyright infringement – and you can pretty much go ahead with that obituary for iTunes while you’re at it.

Universal have signed up to a bold new service called Spiral Frog and apparently, EMI and Warner Music are not far behind in their in talks with the new site which will allow you to download music (and ‘other digital content’) for free without fear of any of the attendant nasties and terrible crushing guilt which theoretically plague illegal music sites.

Yeah, right – what’s the catch?

Well, there isn’t one. That is, there isn’t JUST one.

First of all, it’s in WMA format, which rules out the iPod (a portable device that has, let’s not forget, 84% of the portable player market in the UK). This is a format that locks you into a particular proprietary software player that you may well have issues with.

It’s only going to be available in the USA and Canada at first.

It hasn’t actually launched – they’re taking email addresses for a beta launch. Looks like December at this point.

This isn’t news, really, is it? It’s a press release.

It’s not a particularly new thing – just a nice piece of rebranding of an older, rather dire music retail proposition.

You’re going to have to watch commercials every time you download a track. Want an album? Watch an ad, download a track. Watch another ad, download another track… (sigh)

Oh, and Digital Rights Management up the wazoo. PlaysforSure-protected WMA files. One computer, up to a maximum of two portable devices.

I remember when I could buy a record and turn it into a frisbee, give it to a friend, or boil it in water until it warped into an attractive pot plant holder. If I’m going to pay for music (even – perhaps especially – with my advertorial attention), then I want to do what I damn well like with it when I get it home.

Oh, and if you want your music to still actually make noise when you press the play button, you’re going to have to make sure you log into the Spiral Frog website often enough to watch the latest commercials.

I’ll repeat that so that it sinks in: you must log in to the Spiral Frog service at least once per month, and see their ads, or your files will stop playing.

And it stops working after 6 months.

So… that would be “free” online music downloads to rival iTunes.

Really, your majesty? Garments of finest magical silk, you say…


For more indepth coverage of the Spiral Frog nonsense, Techcrunch and Medialoper have been very good. As is, for the stronger of stomach, this.